3 Winners! 🎉O Laetissima Mea!
O, most happy me! 'Alice Lives Underground'; Regret & Reticence, & Kindle Poll
A brief word on giveaways
(congrats to three winners!)
So pleased to have the winners of my first giveaway — and always happy to send little things through the mail.
Substack winner: William Pauley III, prolific weirdo author (tysm for sharing with your subscribers!)
Threads winner: Shelby, aka, romance.reader.reviews, budding reader & reviewer (Seriously! Send Shelby all your titles)
Instagram winner: Kay, aka, caffeinated.book.dragon, whimsical Romantasy reader (delightful profile! Check her out)
And it became quickly apparent that IG is where the book giveaway folks are hiding, I was overwhelmed with options on that platform. So please don’t be discouraged if you didn’t win this time around. I’ll do another IG-only giveaway for my birthday November 25th!
A brief word on Stacktember
(Week 2)
We have our first participant! And it’s sooo good! over at Incessant is a prolific reader of all genres (I still don’t know how she finds the time, it’s got to be that active Gemini sun brain needing stimulation) but really nails the assignment for spec fic, if you ask me.
If you, like me, fear the familiar and the strange when overlapped, you will dig this flash fiction piece, ‘Alice Lives Underground’:
I’ll unleash my attempt this Weds as is now tradition, and you can check out the backlogs below:
A brief word on music
(regret & reticence, perfume playlist)
re·gret /rəˈɡret/ verb
feel sad, repentant, or disappointed over (something that has happened or been done, especially a loss or missed opportunity).
"she immediately regretted her words"
synonyms: remorse, sorrow, contrition, penitence
ret·i·cence /ˈredəs(ə)ns/ noun
the quality of being reticent; reserve.
"the traditional emotional reticence of the British"
synonyms: introversion, restraint, inhibition, shyness
One of the bookish gifts sent out for the giveaway was a memoir about gravelly-voiced birthday bud, Mark Lanegan, who passed a couple of years ago. I don’t often get to talk about the man as an artist — time doth march on.
My introduction to Mark Lanegan was ‘The Gravedigger’s Song’:
Shovel down six feet With a head heavy pain The magnolia blooms so sweet And it fades just the same To the stars my love To the sea To the wheels my love 'Til they roll all over me
Lanegan was already in his late forties by the time that album dropped, but it still felt super-relatable to someone in their late twenties. I followed the album up by digging for the Lead Belly ‘89 cover with Cobain, ‘Where Did You Sleep Last Night’ (sonically soul-sisters with GDS), and seeking out tracks from Lanegan’s time in Seattle’s grunge scene as part of The Screaming Trees as a young man.
‘90s Grunge is often remembered as a very vocal, loud response to, or expression of social alienation, self-doubt, abuse, neglect, betrayal, social/emotional isolation, addiction, psychological trauma, and a desire for freedom (very 12H Sagittarius things). These themes are tightly wound with regret, but often not reticence. Maybe partially by the virtue of song being an outlet to express what is otherwise held back.
I think these side- and subsequent-projects of Lanegan’s (and Cobain’s, and even The Cranberries, another 90s-era staple who are enjoying a Gen Z revival due to Royel Otis’s cover — much more of a spiritual successor than the attempt the year prior by Lake Street Dive) satisfy something different within the listener because of the dose of reticence; whether by the narrator, or the narrator’s subject, in the case of the chilling Lead Belly cover.
Do you notice, do you know Do you see me, do you see me? Does anyone care? ... Understand what I've become It wasn't my design And people everywhere think Something better than I am
We chase misprinted lies We face the path of time And yet I fight And yet I fight This battle all alone No one to cry to No place to call home
We often associate the end of one’s life with the largest swath of regret one can face. I’m sure it’s true for some, but I think it’s more of a rule that we grow more reticent at the end; perhaps as a toll of much regret. In the Alice in Chains cover above, Lanegan opens with a pining for an outlet for this regret and loneliness, perhaps as there used to be in younger years.
When you live with regret and inaction long enough, without improvement, I think a part of the human soul begins to die before the body. Prolonged despair makes a person naturally withdraw, and I think a beautiful thing about sharing this emotion through song the immediate ability for others in the same boat to be un-isolated — even if the singer, as in Lanegan's case, rarely sees that same relief.
Palette cleanser: Perfume playlist, indie sleaze & jazz
And, as promised, an indie sleaze playlist to lure you into the dark of October. There are jazz influences, and a mix of more well-known and lesser-known artists so hopefully you enjoy one or two new-to-you tracks.
A brief word for writers
(real talk, “Forbidden” call for *free* submissions/paid work!)
Writers, are you feeling a little short of breath? Have you been marathon running/walking/crawling toward some kind of finish line? You are not alone. I want to leave you with a video from
, her transparency is great (and needed in a lonely segment of society):Do you have “FORBIDDEN” short stories, poetry, or art?
Want to be part of an anthology of weird fiction and art? Want to be paid? Want to have your work understood and appreciated? Want to work with an experienced, empathic, eccentric, esoteric editor? 😇 Then check out the publication above!
✍️ Enjoy some previously-shared free resources & templates
A brief word for readers
(TBR, a Poll, New Releases)
Work book club pick is Speak by Tunde Oyeneyin! The audiobook just became available through my Libby network, so I’m listening now and hoping to get to the end before our event September 19th!
Help-me-read-my-Kindle Poll: Results are in!
Six of Crows by Leigh Bardugo! I enjoyed Ninth House and Hell Bent, so I’m looking forward to this, it might be just the thing I need to start reading the lovely eBooks on my kindle. I’ll start it right after I finish Speak.
📚 Follow me on Goodreads (I’d like to try to be more active)
A brief word on my life
(A bit about me tucked away at the end)
I have three wonderful dogs — an ancient chihuahua, and two aussies of various sizes and temperaments. I wouldn’t trade them for the world. But the 50-pound werewolf-looking one has chewed holes in our kitchen drywall (this is where he chills while I work from home in my office). Chris, great partner that he is, is in the process of remedying the great destruction Mokilok has wrought at all of 7 months old. It’s providing me with moderate new-homebuyer relief.
Until next time,
Nico
📸 Follow me on Instagram | Threads | PWYC Zines | Letterboxd (I need friends)
congrats to the winners and tysm for the shout out on Alice 🥰 can’t wait to read your week two piece!
Thoroughly enjoyed your thoughts on 90s music. I'm happy to see the Lanegan book inspired you to post about it! Listening to your playlist now. Thanks for the chill morning playlist. 👏