“Angels cut out the parts of us that remember how to cry until we can’t. We learn to mask the grief, to pack it away for later, later, later, until eventually we just die.”
— Andrew Joseph White, Hell Followed With Us
Hello. Sorry, no micro-pod today. But I had stuff to write about this morning so I figured I’d pop by and say a quick hello.
I finished a book club book this week — this one happens to be from work, The Institute, by Stephen King. The themes overall (about growing up fast, chosen family reinvigorating one’s sense of hope, being stronger together than apart, overcoming control, etc.) are ones I love, and King’s execution reminded me of this quote from another great title, Hell Followed With Us (quote above).
I thought I’d share some quotes from The Institute here to help illustrate:
“ ‘Let me give you some advice,’ she said. Not smiling now. ‘You need to realize that you are here to serve, Luke. That means you have to grow up fast. It means being realistic. Things will happen to you here. Some of them will not be so nice. You can be a good sport about them and get tokens, or you can be a bad sport and get none. Those things will happen either way, so which should you choose? It shouldn’t be hard to figure out.’ ” (pg. 107)
This advice is doled out by one of the protagonist’s captors at the titular institute, as a mode of control. The protagonist, Luke, is a smart boy. He desperately wishes to defy those who are abusing their power and escape back to his life outside. But he’s also a good kid (he’s not used to fighting), and — more importantly — a kid. People shouldn’t be exerting power over him like this, he shouldn’t have to fight back. He’s woefully ill-equipped and the sense of faltering hope is expressed well in the story.
“The card also took [Luke] to E-Level, where there was a lot of mechanical shit, but when he tried to go lower—there was lower, he’d heard conversations about levels F and G—Miss Elevator Voice pleasantly informed him that access was denied. Which was okay. You learned by trying.” (pg. 211)
Defiance blossoms, and becomes constructive. When a person is being controlled so tightly, there are always holes. Luke is determined to explore and fight back against this system, testing where the weaknesses are. Wise beyond his years, one certainly does learn by trying. And a little bit more about learning, flexibility, and BDNF (another topic in the book) shortly.
“So Maureen was a snitch, listening to kids in places that were supposed to be safe, then running to Sigsby (or Stackhouse) with little bits of info given to her in whispers. She might not be the only one, either; the two friendly caretakers, Joe and Hadad, might also be snitching. In June, Luke would have hated her for this, but now it was July, and he was much older.” (pg. 228)
I’m torn at including this passage. Out of context, it may play off as irony, or a twisted sense of humor trying to be funny. It’s not. There are many escalating abuses suffered by the children imprisoned at the institute over the course of the book, and Gladys (the one providing advice in the first quote) was right — the kids have to, and did, grow up fast. We’re maybe halfway through the book and Luke has gotten much older, very quickly. It may be the course of weeks.
Outside of the grim sadness you feel for the characters, it also struck me that this moment for Luke is similar to the moment when a child’s parents fall from the pedestal they’re placed upon. Maureen, a janitor, was the only kind face to seek safety in. With that belief lost, it’s devastation should have made a young child hate her. But Luke really has grown. He’s beginning to understand the systems we’re all trapped in.
“Karl Marx had called religion the opiate of the people, but Stackhouse begged to differ. he thought Lucky Strikes and Boone’s Farm (greatly favored by their female guests) did the job quite nicely.” (pg. 238)
Stackhouse is their prison warden. And you read that right: there are vending machines in the institute filled with snacks and candy — but also cigarettes and alcohol. Just in case the reader had any misapprehension about whether or not the “stewards” in the facility were evil, this pretty much underlines the point. The Pleasure Island effect created in these institutional pods, reinforced by the children’s cyclical compliance with the orderlies’ wishes (the only way to earn the tokens to use in the vending machines) tranquilizes the young inmates into submission and compliance. The resulting dissociation, a “boone” for the guards. (Boone’s Farm reminds me of the quintessential backroad gas station — surely “the only place for miles” — and my friend Dodie, back home in Maine, so I appreciated the nod.)
“The old Nicky might have told this over-muscled lowbrow to go fuck himself. The new version just got to his feet, staggering and grabbing a seatback to keep his balance. It broke Kalisha’s heart to see him this way. What had been taken from Nicky was in some ways worse than murder. In many ways.” (pg. 302)
Nicky’s the brave friend. His character is mouthy and challenging. You get the feeling that Nicky started growing up fast even before his time in the institute. It’s Nicky that Luke started to look up to from the beginning, and who inspired the rest of their chosen family in the ward to be strong, stick together, and never give up. To see their friend who inspired their initial resilience begin to fail is a turning point. The kids have to decide if they can take the torch — and still protect the weaker members of their band of rebels — while their sanity and autonomy is being ever-threatened from the outside.
I’ll stop spoiling from there, as the tension begins to rise and the pace picks up. There’s still so much in the book throughout that is worth the journey, and I highly recommend it.
Now, a little about BDNF, or brain-derived neurotrophic factor. It’s a protein found in the brain and spinal cord that helps nerve cells survive and mature. It's a member of the neurotrophin family of growth factors, which are related to nerve growth factor. BDNF is the most common growth factor in the central nervous system (CNS) and is essential for its development and neuronal plasticity.
Newborns (in the book and in real life) are tested for baseline BDNF. This protein is crucial to a rich and healthy human life — everything from adaptation to change, to healthy growth, to ongoing glucose regulation. In the book, it only touches on baseline BDNF being a marker for the supernatural strengths of those tested.
In real life, BDNF plays a role in neuronal survival/growth, serves as a neurotransmitter modulator, and neuronal plasticity (essential for learning, memory, adaptation, and mood); BDNF can show predisposition (and development) of schizophrenia, dementia, Parkinson’s, MS, and more. It can also be easily raised by participating in activities we already know are healthy: exercise, sleep, consumption of omega-3, stress management, and reducing your sugar intake. Not a fan of the cold exposure trend? Heat exposure is also a factor in increasing BDNF so you won’t miss out on all gains.
Cognitive inflexibility is linked with many negative health outcomes, here are a few:
So the fantasy/surreality of this month’s book club read had me reflecting on life lessons I’ve had to learn myself. A neat way to wrap it all into one might be “Flex your minds or die.”
Until next time!
Nico
“But they were useful, Avery supposed. The way a wrapper your Hershey bar came in was useful, until you licked it clean. Then you could throw it away.” (pg. 370)